Why Women Mentors Matter

It has taken me over twenty years to find female mentors – why did it take so long? While the lack of women in my field is an obvious factor, the focus of women trying to remain in the “boy’s club” in law has also contributed. This constant battle has also made it hard for women to focus on making relationships with other female professionals in our industry. The mistaken belief that there is only room for one woman at a table surrounded by men, or that women in law can’t help each other. I believe fear drives this belief, and hope we can work together to change this.

When I was a younger attorney I didn’t have women mentors that grabbed me by the hand and helped me up – nor did I have a woman that I could call for advice when I needed it. Thankfully, I was blessed with some fabulous men that mentored me, and whom I owe a debt of gratitude to. While I would never undermine the men who helped me grow professionally, I often wonder why it was never women.

This problem is not only the fault of those that came before me, because I have also had fear hold me back from reaching out to other women in the field. But what changed? The simple answer is my mindset – this blog has changed the way that I view my relationships with other women in law. I have realized that finding a sisterhood with other women in the field is important to me; one of those things you don’t know how much you need until you have it.

Another hardship women face in law is finding the time to give quality advice. In the past when I would reach out for guidance from a mentor, the advice was often cut and dry. It doesn’t mean the advice was wrong, there just wasn’t the opportunity to talk it out with someone to help work out my thought process. Fortunately, I now have two great women that I turn to for advice. Last night, one of them gave me an hour of her time to understand the issues in my case, talk out the options, and the pros and cons of the different strategy options. It felt someone had given me water in a desert, I gained clarity and confidence in my own instinct of how best to handle a tricky situation.

Both of these women have a true defender spirit and are two of the smartest lawyers I know. I feel so honored to call them friends and colleagues. Why do women mentors matter? Most importantly, they speak my language. So next time someone approaches you for advice, take the time to listen. The change starts with all of us.